What is Personal Development?

Here are some ideas to help you start to answer the basic question, 'What is personal development?'

First, I'm going to let Marianne Williamson define the 'What is personal development?' territory. This is a much-loved - and much repeated - quote. It was used by Nelson Mandela in his inaugural address.

Incidentally, if the word 'God' bothers you - it used to bother me loads, part of my conditioning - substitute another word that expresses the divinity, the love, the 'good stuff' in the universre ... the great spirit. The choice is yours!

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

"We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking, so that other people won't feel insecure around you.

"We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us, it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

Thanks, Marianne! That's quite an answer to the 'What is personal development?' conundrum. You set the bar pretty high! And that can be intimidating in itself. Have no fear ...

How does the Deeper Coaching process deal with that? By creating a series of manageable steps that build self-confidence. We want to start winning small battles - just skirmishes, even - on the way to winning the liberation of the real you.

The next paragraphs talk about some of the ways that the medium-term personal development process can be broken down into manageable chunks.

When you realize that there is a gap between your dreams and aspirations compared to what life is actually offering you, then you've made an important first step.  Many people just go ahead and live out their unfulfilled lives, never realizing that another, better way is within their grasp. 

You are among the people - one of the lucky ones, really - who recognize that you can create a new future.  You can reach out and achieve what you truly want. That's the important thing about asking the 'what is personal development?' question. More important is taking action on the answers to that question.

What is personal development? Two answers ...

First, there is the process we take for granted: the development and maturity of our personality from birth to childhood, adolescence and adulthood through middle and old age to death. There are some pretty descriptive - and accurate - popular names for staging posts in this process: 'the terrible twos' and 'adolescent rebellion' to name but two.

Unless we set out to explore our own inner life, prompted by questions like:

• What is personal development?
• Could my personal development have taken a different course?
• Is the course of my life pre-ordained?
• Does free will exist?

What does it mean to pursue personal development?  The key is to seek out those activities or experiences that make your life richer and fuller. Then become aware of what happens inside: in your thoughts, feelings, emotions or bodily sensations.

Do you experience the excitement of reaching out and taking a forward step? And do you then draw back? Are you aware of what happened in that space of time?

Answering that question, What is personal development? means changing what happens between the 'Yes' and the 'No' ... between saying, 'Go' and then putting the brakes on ... 'Stop!!'

Here are some of the broad areas that we may focus on in a Deeper Coaching session. As you read through them now, listen to any responses in your self-talk; pay attention to sensations in your body. Do they help you become aware of the conflict between Yes and No / Stop and Go? If so, write them down in your journal. That helps to signify - to the real you - that you are serious about changing. Are you?

By the 'real you' I mean that place of inner joy and self-confidence that has been buried under the harsh lessons of years of social conditioning. That's what the Toltecs refer to as 'domestication': a word that emphasizes just how cruel this process can be (to paraphrase an old film title ... 'They break horses, don't they?').

Don Americo Yabar - a Peruvian paq'o or mystic - also talks about our domesticated energy; the path to freedom through the liberation of our salk'a ... our undomesticated energy.

He asks:

"How can you develop your states of consciousness if you are dedicating more time to your neuroses than to your own life force energy?

How much time do you pay attention to your anxiety, to your personal importance, to your internal dialog and your preoccupations?

Who is feeding the eagle and the wolf and the mountain lion within you?"

don Americo Yabar

You want to reach that innermost place in your heart that makes you hum with pleasure or sing with joy! And - when the situation requires - soar, howl, roar ... and purrrr!

What is personal development? Finding your identity

You begin to gain a sense of who you are by listening to your inner self instead of other people. 

Of course it's true that those people who are important to you will always offer advice and you will value it! 

But now it's time to explore your own thoughts.  Ask yourself, what do YOU want?  How do YOU feel? 

Self Knowledge

Take an inventory of your own goals and dreams.  Begin with larger, esoteric questions such as, What do I want from life?  Then narrow it down to much smaller issues such as, Why do I value so-and-so's input?  

Do I like working alone or as part of a group?  Am I a day person or a night person?   

This is the time to consider where you stand on issues and forge your own opinions instead of parroting someone else's. 

Self Awareness

Understand what makes you tick.  What are you best personality and character traits?  Which ones do you dislike?  How do you react when confronted with fear, anger, or worry?  

This is where you get out of bed in the morning and look into your bathroom mirror. 

You must learn to like the face that you see.  Even if you're not perfect - and nobody is - you've got to love the skin you're in.

Purpose

When you hop out of bed, before you even get to that mirror, what makes you greet each day with a smile?  Learn what gives your life meaning.  Reach an understanding of your wants and needs. 

If you're miserable because you hate your job, then think what you'd like to do instead.  If you can't make a career change, incorporate your interests into your life-as a hobby or as volunteer work. 

If you wish you went to church more often, then go!  If you want to see less of your in-laws, then you can find a way to do that, too.  This is your life and you only get to live it once. 

Potential

You've given a lot of thought to who you'd like to be and you're going to be taking some risks!  Ask yourself what you'd like to achieve and then think through a plan of action and put it into effect! 

We know that can be a little scary.  But there are techniques that can help you to realize your plans, such as positive-thinking books and self-help tapes. 

Find one beautiful thought to guide you through each day. 

Emotional Resilience

How do you handle those frightening moments that come along?  You must learn to embrace your own worth and remain confident of your decisions. 

If someone rocks your boat, that doesn't mean you have to change course.  But remember that you must always treat people with value and respect if you hope to get that same courtesy from them. 

If someone you admire expresses an opinion that you disagree with, it's okay to forge your own thoughts on a subject, but don't disrespect their viewpoint. 

Knowledge and Skills

Learn to be creative!  Don't try to reinvent the wheel, but you need to find a way to include what you want in your life. 

Make time for the things that are important.  Appreciate your own knowledge and skill sets. 

And hold yourself accountable.  Look at how you respond to people and situations and modify those responses in order to get better results. 

Your body

You have one! Ignore it at your peril.

Please avoid introspection in all your personal development endeavors. The point is to become aware of the workings of your mind in order to let those stories go. Aim to experience yourself becoming simpler, less complicated.

You body can help. How? Let it take you for a walk, preferably in nature. Find a form of exercise that suits you and time table regular exercise.

Over the last year or so, Chi Kung - an ancient Chinese form of meditative movement - has become an important part of my daily routine. If a martial arts approach to personal development interests you, see this "martial arts and personal development" article.

As a Result...

By exploring these facets of yourself, you will find that your quality of life has improved.  These methods for promoting individualized self development will become part of a lifelong learning pattern. 

You will also see this type of self-exploration discussed on the web as part of workplace focus.  In that context it's referred to as professional development.  CPD, or continuous professional development, extends these practices to improve your role on the job-this is also called "building human capital." 

Remember:  You won't achieve your dreams, at home or at work, if you're living life just going through the motions.  You have to find out what you want, understand why you want it and then reach out and grab it. 

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Where to next?

On this site:

If you arrived asking, 'What is personal development?' you may find the articles on the personal development coach role useful in helping you to set your own agenda.

Off this site:

Here is an article that will help you understand why personal development and personal growth can be difficult. It looks at how our subconscious belief systems can act like gremlins in the personal development process.

If you're pondering your own beliefs about spirituality, consciousness and personal development, here is a thoughtful and sensitively written article, spirituality for a modern age.

Finally ...

Ask questions, subscribe to my personal development coaching newsletter, get free downloads on the contact deeper coaching page.

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